The 10 Commandments
As seasons change and flowers bloom we are reminded of the power of creation as it exists in nature. Each individual holds the ability to be a force in their own creation. In this article, I will be sharing the tools to create loving relationships. When we are honest with ourselves, in the silent moments, we recognize that life without loving relationships is empty, cold, and desert like. No matter how successful we are in our career, no matter how financially affluent we are, well traveled or socially recognized; our hearts will not be truly joyous or fulfilled without love.
The simple daily interactions with the people that care about us, keep us going. The love that we feel and express towards others generates inner energy inspiring us to create and expand. Love is truly the motivating force behind all creation and its healing ability manifests in all aspects of life.
If you want your life to be rich, enjoyable and passionate; you need to cultivate your relationships. Investing in positive loving relationships yields the highest emotional return.
One of the most important elements in cultivating loving relationships is communication. Most of us struggle with finding our emotional voice, sometimes it’s because we are scared to speak from our heart, at times we don’t know what the heart wants, and at other times we get stuck in our pride and defensiveness.
Giving and receiving love is the most nourishing and life affirming exchange. It is the spiritual gold currency that makes the world go round.
I would like to suggest the following Ten Commandments to help you communicate better whether we are dealing with our own parents, friends, mates or even our children:
- Know yourself. Find out how you feel, what you need, what you believe in, so that you can communicate it.
- Commit to creating connections. Take responsibility for the success of your communications. Be the cause, the initiator, the giver.
- Avoid reactivity. When faced with strong emotions and intense reactions, take a minute to figure yourself out. Get clear and strive to create a constructive way to communicate.
- Cultivate empathic listening. Extend that to yourself and others. Empathy helps you understand and accept. It enhances transformation and change.
- Be clear. Be authentic and expressive, and use the four “Magic I’s.” (I Think, I Feel, I Need, I Want). When you communicate with another stick to expressing your feelings rather than pointing the finger at the other. Avoid blaming, dumping, judging or telling others what to do.
- Show appreciation. Do whatever you can to validate your loved ones. Use listening and mirroring skills, show respect and consideration. You can still maintain your beliefs and go for them. One has nothing to do with the other.
- Be reliable. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Integrity cultivates mutual trust.
- Learn to negotiate. Create win/win situations. It is best for all involved.
- Tap into your humor and playfulness. Bring enjoyment into your communications.
- Let go of the need to be right, in control, or on top. Having authority doesn’t mean we need to be controlling or righteous especially when speaking with children. Connection and the exchange of understanding are so much more fulfilling and yield better results.
Communication is an art. Keep experimenting and go through the trials and tribulations. You will come to enjoy it. Not only will your loved ones enjoy it, but you will enjoy it as well. And, isn’t that the goal – to be happy, open, and expressive.